For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
