I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
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He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
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Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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