Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Randomize
