susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Randomize
