I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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