Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Randomize
