I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize
