is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i just google imaged poop.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Randomize
