you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
