True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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