Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
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