Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
