Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
