so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize
