You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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