all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
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