I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize