i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Randomize
