Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
