Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
