and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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