My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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