Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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