He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
