Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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