Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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