the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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