Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
