2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
