Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Drunk walkin through police station. America
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
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