Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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