Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
then he tried to convert me to islam
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
