Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
