shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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