At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
