Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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