I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
