Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
