Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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