dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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