my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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