in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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