i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
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