Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
