who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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