the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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