Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
