I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
