i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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