She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
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