The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
