People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
