He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Randomize
