just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
