This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
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