yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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