I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
