Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
