I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Randomize
