She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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