I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize