We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
