Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
