I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
