Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
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