I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
