Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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