:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
