I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
